Interactive Wednesday: Miss UniversePosted: August 25, 2010
First of all, Miss Universe is totally a superhero name. Second:
This is Miss Venezuela in her National Costume Contest Costume. I have no idea what this has to do with the national spirit of Venezuela but if she’s not dressed like a superheroine I don’t know who is. She is SHARD and she will save the world with her Dark Crystal self.
And there are many, many more. I could make up a story for all the entrants, they are ALL. THAT. AWESOME. But here are the top ten heroine chic of the bunch. Miss Mexico won the pageant, but one of these heroines will win our Miss Universe (the superhero!) poll.
Miss Italy aka GLADIATOR.
She has a sword. She has a cape. She has a crown. And she’s ready to kick your ass.
Miss Albania aka FIREBIRD.
Um. Exactly what about this is not a superheroine outfit?
Miss Kosovo aka YEARLING.
No, that’s not a deer on her head but with Kosovo’s newly declared independence it seems an appropriate name for her saviour. She doesn’t hit people with that staff, she clearly wields ancient magic.
Miss US Virgin Islands aka SUNSET JAZZ.
Those are armoured wings y’all. And the boots mean business!
Miss Switzerland aka SWISS MISS.
I think I have that same sword in my house. I mean, not the exact one, but the same design. Anyway, yes, it’s condescending to call her Swiss Miss. But she is wearing a dress that would fit in just as well and probably better at the Little Miss Universe Contest. Nothing wrong with being covered up, nothing wrong with iridescent taffeta (lots of things right with it to tell the truth) and this does somehow scream neutrality — maybe it’s the giganto shield (that shield? that’s why she made the list) — but she looks like Switzerland Barbie.
Miss Honduras aka TIGRA.
Yes, some of these are taken but you can’t deny that this woman should be called Tigra. She has a tiger-striped CAPE. With built in CLAWED FISTS. And then she’s wearing a jungle bikini which is basically what Tigra wears ANYWAY.
Miss Ireland aka SHILLELAGH.
It means club and no, she doesn’t look like a club or a weapon at all. She kinda looks like Little Green Riding Hood. But she certainly looks like a superheroine and Shillelagh sounds cool.
Miss USA aka GOLDEN EAGLE.
I mean. Come on.
I wish she had a lasso…
Miss Mauritius aka GAIA.
I don’t know if she is supposed to be wearing the Earth — I think maybe she is wearing Mauritus? — but girl has me singing She’s got the whole world on her skirt…
And the hat’s just for show. It totally comes off when she’s ready to fight crime.